Shalom Existence

I have a lot of serious stuff happening lately. Why do family problems seem to permeate adult life at every turn? I have yet to figure that out….but I will be praying and sharing more later. Right now, I still feel like ignoring half the time and slowly processing the other half.

So instead, I will say this, I have not shared a lot about my weight loss in a while. I have settled in between 148 and 152 pounds for a while now, which is nice. I just still have a lot of fat around my middle, which I know is NOT good for women. The holidays really had me on an emotional see saw. Some of the time I ate well over what I should have, not caring about the consequences, the other half of the time I cried about my size and tried to eat what I think I should. While I think this is normal for women I am sad to say that I have totally gotten out of the habit of regular gym workouts. I have been doing some stretching and mini yoga/pilates sessions at home, but the cardio I was getting is quickly falling to wayside. I just cannot seem to get there! And walking by myself has lost its appeal now that the weather is either rainy and warm or sunny and cold.

I think that I am not writing this to say anything new, I am really writing this to say: I wish that I could eat chocolate for the rest of my life without feeling bad about it! I wish that I could be motivated to work out everyday because it really does make me feel better, and I wish that organic produce was cheaper! On an end note, for the people that say buying bigger sizes for people makes them feel better when they try it on, they are wrong, if I received one more sweater that was drowning on me for Christmas I was going to scream. Apparently wearing (mostly) older clothes does continue to make me look fat. There was one particular person who bought me a large from a store that I wear a small in, I am not mad at them, but I really wish that I felt all my hard work was apparent. Perhaps not humanly possible?

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