Shalom Existence

Okay, so I’m not really. 

But I will say that lately I have been sad about my lack of volunteering and giving time in the last 2-3 months. Number 1, my home church is no longer around to wack me in the head every Sunday morning, nor the youth service where we got to hang for an hour. And after I have been with my students all day I can definitely tell you the younger students at RFS have not been seeing my face. So then I started thinking, what is wrong with me?!? What is my life about?!?! How can I stand for all these things and be doing next to nothing. My job at school certainly does not count because I am getting paid for it (this is what my mind tells me). I don’t know what church to go to or what organization needs my hand more! Now, with all the  messed up churchy things that happened I know I needed a break from that. But my babies at RFS? I don’t want to be sluggish and “not all there” for them, do I? I honestly don’t know what to do. I think that once this tenure is over at school I might be slightly better, but I know that our financial situation won’t! I am so frustrated with myself.

Is this an attack from the enemy? Is this my own head? Or is it really my guilt over evading something God is trying to stretch me to? I see others and I wonder…. I just can’t help myself.

Popularity: 1% [?]