church » Shalom Existence

Us and them, or us with them?

Posted January 13, 2009 By Andrea and has 1 comment.

Last week I was driving my car in downtown Atlanta and I just turned to my husband and said, “You know, people are looking for something real, not something different.” And I think it’s very true. In a recent post I talked about realizing we need to roll up our sleeves and get dirty, and I never thought that was more real before this weekend. Driving through the streets of Atlanta is normal for me now, but I remember when it wasn’t.

I remember as a child wrinkling up my nose to the stench of urine on one street, and looking wide eyed from my car windows to the high rise condos less than half a mile away, Wondering perhaps, where the celebrities of the moment were living, what kind of jobs or lives these people led. I didn’t much wonder about the lives of those that lived on the streets of stench. I knew from the smell that their lives were different, not all happy and not all full of the things that we are so programmed to desire.

I remember when it did hurt my heart, it still does, but not in the way that it interferes with my concept of reality. It no longer immediately strikes my heart- it shouldn’t be this way. For it has always been this way. With newer condos and more trash, the divide only seems to be getting wider. And the church, for the most part, still isn’t speaking against the stuff that purports these divides. I would say that it’s okay to attain stuff, but I am no longer sure that it is. I am not sure, because I see Christ followers that wouldn’t give it away. Not even if begged. And now the church is getting to the point where they are saying it is neccessary for them to have this “stuff” to minister. I understand using things for the glory of God, but if people are really looking for what’s real, not just what is new and different, do we really have to use this stuff to compete with the world? We aren’t using it all for the glory, we are using it to get noticed. I love what Len Sweet said- “I hate the word relevant….because the church doesn’t have to try to be relevant. Jesus is always relevant!” Don’t we already have what everyone is wanting, what everyone is hungry for? We don’t have to use our methods to sell it. In some ways, it can even cheapen it. The way we have been doing things show no difference between us and the world. In fact, it condones and advertises its ways. I cannot buy into it anymore. It is to the point where it is making me physically ill. And I feel alone at times, and I feel negative, and cynical, but I pray and I cry out and it doesn’t change, the feeling- that conviction about our responsibility to rebuke it and show Jesus’ message in a way that is JUST that- doesn’t go away. But godly people all around me are buying in, they are eating it up, and I simply don’t know what to do. I don’t know God. I don’t know.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Categories: Church "issues"

Tags: church, different, real, relevant

Being a "PK"

Posted September 16, 2008 By Andrea and has 1 comment.

So, sometimes I try to think of how being a PK, a pastor’s kid, has affected me. Many times I try to view it as all bad. but I know it’s not. There has been good stuff that has come from it as well. Seeing how open and giving people can be, having the opportunity to meet a varitety of people over the years that walk in the church doors, some that will be there a few months or even years, some that will be around a lifetime. I remember as a child being babysat by older women in our church and taken to Dairy Queen, a big treat for me at 5 and 6 years old. Now I realize that they were probably not getting paid to babysit, and so they were actually spending their time, effort, and money to do these things. I remember one woman, I think her name was Phyllis, that would let me help her make stringed popcporn one Christmas and spend the night. I really really thought I was big stuff- special because I was “hanging out” with someone older and I had a purpose (stringing popcorn is hard work!) She had cookies, hot chocolate, everything just to make me feel special.

As I got a little older it became harder for me. I would make a best friend only to have her gone a year or two later, after their parents had some disagreement with my father over the way things are done in the church. I lived behind the church for 9 years, so it was in reality my entire life. One of my good friends, her name was Autumn, was not allowed to see me at all. Although she lived in the same place, her father would not allow it. I was Phil’s daughter. There are times this has served me well, and other times, as a poorly self-imaged 4th grader, when it did not. I never understood why people left. To me it meant that people did not like us. Now I know that the issues were probably much bigger, but at the time it seemed like we would only get close to people to have them leave. Aaron was another example. His family came to all of our family parties, he taught me how to play video games and get the most out a slip and slide, and then they were gone. I see now that in a lifetime, these situations will happen, people move or friends simply drift apart. But I never really got to say many goodbyes. It never felt official, and I was never given any good reasons. One day, they just weren’t there anymore.

As I grew into my teenage years I had begun a certain protection of self. Not getting invested in every single person that took an interest in my family, making sure I knew that my friendships inside the church would survive outside of the church. I know longer wanted “church” friends. To me, there was no security there. You also learn that there are things that church people don’t like. Especially if you are the child of a pastor. So hiding certain aspects of your life, likes and dislikes, begins to suit you well. Unaware of the mask that most people are most certainly wearing, you begin to feel like maybe you are the only one.

So, now, as a grown woman, I struggle. I struggle to see people leaving churches not as a personal attack, but as a preference or a convenience issue. I struggle to know if people really care about me the person, or are self-serving by serving me, to gain a place of greater importance in the church. Then, there are those people I may want to know but it takes that extra effort because some people just don’t like someone in the pastor’s family knowing that much about them. I envy the people in the church who are “normal.” Who do not have the ingrained sense of looking picture perfect or acting like everything is fine when it isn’t. Heck, I envy Andy, who is able to fully be himself, and people love him (for good reason of course)!

As I am becoming who I was called to be, and listening for God’s direction, I pray that my journey continues, and that I continue to grow. Help me to focus only on what is good, what is from you, and love others with my whole heart, regardless of their situation, for that is what you have called me to do. And also thank you, thank you for the experiences I have had, the wonderful people you have had me meet, and the face of love I have seen more often than any other. Amen.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Categories: Personal, Spiritual Reflections

Tags: church, love, masks, PK, struggle

When is my magic year?

Posted August 21, 2008 By Andrea and has 2 comments.

So, I have been thinking a lot about age and when exactly my time to figure things out will be. Now, I know that I am not going to sit around waiting for something to happen, I am trying to go after my passions (one of them being writing) and find some new arenas in which to serve. I love serving, but I can tell you, if you are in the wrong place and not doing something God gifted you to do, the burnout will come a lot faster. Let’s just say I have some experience with this. I want to do something big for Jesus, and I know to do this I have to be following after and leading in the areas he has given me a passion for. That is not to say you will immediately love everything God has gifted you for, I admit I am very trepidatious to being super involved in churches, mostly because I hate the politics. But, I also admit that it makes me feel alive to be involved in the church and helping to shape it towards becoming an avenue for Christ following and not simply meandering around feeling good about ourselves because we are in church.

So, I feel like 28 might be a magic year and I am only 26. I mean, Anne Jackson’s blog blew up and she is 28, Shaun King is busy having amazing ideas for Courageous Church and he is 28. Maybe 28 will be my year. Okay, so I know it is not all about a year, but it is all about having confidence to do what God wants you to do at any age. Ten years ago it was hard to find role models in the church who were under 30, and even harder to find them being not male!! I am grateful and estatic to see that younger people are having an impact and having the COURAGE (what a word) to stand up and do what God called me to do. I have been brought to this time in my life for a reason, and while I was not this confident at 23, I might have been ready had I been listening to God a little more. So, now I am listening and I am ready and excited. No more running scared Andrea. Two and a half years ago I had a problem saying the word boyfriend, now I am about to start saying HUSBAND! So, commitment has been found, trust has begun to heal (this is a process after a lot of men issues I might later address), and most of all I feel the love and acceptance of a Savior who has been so good to me. So, I am ready God. For this life, this year, whatever your Word may bring. I mean, Anne and Shaun are both cool, but did you know that Martin Luther King led the Montgomery Bus Boycott at 26? I mean, I’m just saying….

Do not be afraid to live out God’s will in your life. No matter what your age, color, gender or situation. He has a plan so big, even you will be surprised. Don’t listen to the naysayers and the pharisees, listen to Jesus and remember that “He is with you always, even to the end of the earth.” Matthew 28:20

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Categories: Church "issues", Random, Relationships, Spiritual Reflections

Tags: age, church, commitment, courage, God's will, husband, passions, serving

I have a problem

Posted August 15, 2008 By Andrea and has 11 comments.

It’s called…. being judgmental. I am sure that is only one problem on a long list of others that any number of people could write. But, I come into situations and I immediately scope it (or him or her) out and judge. Sometimes it is a positive judgment….but that is not usually what that word connotates is it?

So, last night Andy and I went to Buckhead Church for their worship service. Andy was pumped, he loves to worship in singing, and I was excited to be hearing some good worship music as well. But as soon as we got there my mind started going and I started jumping to all the ways that the mega church is anti-organic and spends way too much money on technical equipment. I actually came up with a plan in my mind to cut everyone’s salaries in the church by a 1-5% margin and use that money to instill all energy efficient lighting and have a food line set up for people who might come to church hugnry. Do we even do this at my own church???? No. Should we? Maybe. Ok ok! I know it is not very realistic, but it is idealistic, and sometimes that can work….

Anyway, I tend to lean on the side of thinking that this kind of worship was not what God intended, but my lovely fiance reminded me that there were many people who were walking in that room to worship God that might not come in a situation that looked or felt otherwise. He is right (I seriously HOPE that he does not read too much into that statement). Furthermore, it is not my job to decide what is right or what is wrong. I have my personal convictions, and all I can do is follow those. The greatest of these being love others. Rich, poor, Buckhead Church, or monastic community. Now, I have seen on several blogs recently people defending the mega-church model and citing the reasons why people are wrong in their criticisms. I have read those with a bemused state, because those are the uneducated and jealous criticisms I hear, not the heartfelt concerns for the direction of churches in general (whether mega or not) that I think tends to target bigger churches simply because of the buy in of some to the consumerist culture of America. We cannot change Biblical standards for our churches, but sadly many of them are overlooked as dated. So, I do believe there are some legitimate concerncs, but they exist to some degree for all churches. They are just more visible where there is more happening. Do I think that as brothers and sisters we should share with others our convictions in a loving and healthy way? Of course. But, I also think that they probably have plenty of people telling them what to do and what not to do. Maybe I will send them a letter letting them know my “idea” though. Who knows? They might love it. And by the way, their worship music was awesome. And, I even got in some authentic prayer time (Don’t tell).

Popularity: 1% [?]

Categories: Church "issues", Spiritual Reflections

Tags: church, idealistic, judgmental, love, mega-church

Integrity

Posted August 5, 2008 By Andrea and has 1 comment.

Lately it has come to my attention how important this characteristic is for people in leadership to have. It is often so easy to tell people what they want to hear, avoid the issue altogether, or speak to inappropriate people, leading to rumors and negativity. There is nothing I respect more than a person who can be truthful, respectful, and chooses to not talk about others behind their backs, but rather confront them in a calm and loving way. Granted, that can be very difficult, because of the nature of simply being human and the heightened states we may find ourselves in when we find out what someone has said about us or some flaw that we may find in others. I think the Bible hits it perfectly when it asks why we seek to point out the speck in someone else’s eyes before we inspect the plank in our own. How true.

Fortunately I am coming to see that those with integrity sit and wait, not jumping, not overreacting, not running off and screaming at every person they come in contact with. People with integrity realize that people are imperfect and they think of others before they think of themselves. Okay, so I realize that no one is perfect, but I am coming to see that if we follow Christ, truly loving Him and developing a relationship (i.e. talking to him), we can ourselves become people of integrity. A person that does not jump to conclusions, that has empathy and compassion for everyone, thinking of the well being of others before themselves, and being honest without being brutal, that is the kind of person I want to be.

Growing up in church helps you to see the dark side of Christianity everywhere. I am and have been a Pastor’s kid for 95% of my life, so it is like having the backstage pass to the problems with the “Body of Christ.” By 12 you start to see church more as the social circle or goossip circle, and really forget that Christ has anything to do with it. Then when you remember you learn to keep talking about others just so people won’t know how screwed up you are. Point: it is really easy to keep hate in your heart about people like this and keep blame for teaching you those lessons. But everyone learned it from someone, and while we have the power to change and grow, we do take lessons from our lives that can be difficult to overcome. So, while I pray to contunue to grow into a person of integrity, I’ll try to keep my whiney little over-offended butt in check. Sometimes it’s difficult, but it makes all the difference in how you show Christ, and not that dark side, to the world around you.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Categories: Spiritual Reflections

Tags: church, Compassion, empathy, integrity, respect, whiney

Do you have that church in electric blue, size 2 please?

Posted July 14, 2008 By Andrea and has no comments yet.

We’re all familiar with it. Even if you are not a “Christian” you can look down the street and see that there are a lot of churches to choose from. What I am wondering is, was this Christ’s great call to the people he left behind to follow him? Did he want there to be a choice for every age group, personality, ethnicity, socio-economic group and community service personality?

In the United States I see roughly 3 kinds of churches. There are more than this of course, but I believe many of those could be listed into subgroups.

1. The old pair of jeans church: this church has community together and they do something called outreach. This is where your body remains fully inside the church building but your arms ocassionally “reach out” to give soup, hand out clothing or even money to a foreign land. The old pair of jeans is comfortable. They feel good because they reach out but relaxed because they know where they’re going. So, they usually sing the same songs all the time, the messages are usually bland recitations of scripture, and the same prayer is prayed. There are a couple of people who seem to really enjoy it, but for the most part you look around and wonder who is really worshipping. Is anyone here standing face to face with their maker, truly worshipping and calling out to Him.

2. The Calvin Clein jeans church: This church used to rock! I mean, you know, like Celine Dion style rocking. Calvin Clein jeans are really nice. They are not too expensive but definitely not cheap. Back in the day they were really trendy but now they are taking their place among the grandfather of trends. Because CK is such a big company, they can do a lot. They offer goods, services, and Jesus!!! Can anyone give me an Amen. Oops, I forgot, inappropriate! Because CK is not that churchy, well….They say that but don’t forget your offering, at least wear khakis, and only come as you are if you have a shower. Don’t forget: big company = lots of Jesus opportunities. But would Jesus really like the pastor’s SUV? Are the 25% of people who serve outside the church spreading Christ? Possibly. But not probably.

3. The Trendy Jeans: Oh, this one is great because it can be cheap Forever 21 style or higher end like True Religion. Even the name sounds fabulous, right? This kind of jean has the most subgroups: skinny (not high tech), wide leg (too high tech), and antiqued (enough tech offerings for the family)! These churches do a lot. But if you’re sitting on the outside, looking at the cars, and the clothes, you might start to wonder if they do a lot for the kingdom or do more for themselves. Because they look great, don’t get me wrong, but the thing about trends is most of them don’t last and some of them come in really poor quality material.

Now, this is my opinion, and some facets over-generalized and mocked. Yet, if there are facets that can be mocked and over-generalized, is there a problem? Is this what Jesus was speaking of in Matthew 28 when he says “Go and make disciples of all people.” Should any comforts or trends matter? How much should we matter? Before or after others?

I honestly believe true followership of Jesus would bring people in harmony. It would wipe away the trends and wash out the forced praise. It would result in fall on your knees or lift your face to heaven worship. It would be concerned about charity but even more so about being involved in the fight for justice. It would know that individuals matter but as a body we are better. Are “types” of churches necessary to bring people to Christ, or would a church that just displayed Christ, no matter the technology or resolution, be best. Do we get distracted by our own cool gadgets and movie clips and lighting techniques so much that we would not know how to lead worship without it? Do the types separate us so that we cannot act as a body and fully be Christ to a world so seeped in pain it seems more and more people are noticing. God did not come into a world of stuff, he created a world of humanity. So what about taking it down to a raw level? Bad idea or good starting point?

Popularity: 1% [?]

Categories: Social Justice, Spiritual Reflections

Tags: charity, Christ's great call, church, ethnicity, jeans, types

Numbers 6:24-26: The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His face upon you and give you Shalom In the name of Sar Shalom – the Prince of Peace.