Shalom Existence

I have a lot of them. And today (hopefully) I find out if this one inside me is a boy or girl. One of my students is particuarly excited about the name since I told him we were considering his. He really wants me to use his either way, simply adding -ela to the end if it’s a girl. I told him sorry, I don’t think that is going to work.

I can’t say I am ready to be a mom, but I can say I am prepared. I know what it is like to love people until your heart wants to burst. I know they say it is different with your own child, but I can’t help hoping God gifted me with some capacity that others don’t have. Because I want to see my baby girl or boy in the same way that I see these kids everyday, as invaluable, a gift from God, no one life being worth more than the other. I know that I will have a special protectiveness around “my own,” but don’t misunderstand me when I say this- I want to love he or she the same. In a way we are all part of one family, some of us are just more responsible for making that family bigger. We were all made to be God’s children, the fact that some of us haven’t realized it yet or may be running from it is no reason to deny that. So if you are reading this today- please say a prayer for all my babies- the one God has blessed me to carry and the ones I am blessed to interact with day to day in the here and now. They are equally His.

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