The woes of a broken home
I can be uneasy and untrusting…. many times for no apparent reason. I ask that if you read this to please pray for me in this as I feel that it inhibits me not only from trusting God but from having peace about where I am and what I am trying to do.
It screws with you though, your parents getting divorced and finding out that the love might never have been grounded. Is it that easy to lie to yourself and someone else?
I hope that Andy knows that I am being completely honest when I say I want to give him my heart and share my life (the rest of it) with him. I hope that we continue to grow together. But I feel that Satan is attacking my weaknesses here, and making me feel like I’m not doing enough or that poof it could all be gone one day. It’s not right, and it’s not fair. Especially about my parents. Individually I love them, but today, which would have been their 28th anniversary, I hate them as a couple and what that represents to me.
And I think it is really tacky to post as a former anniversary on a social networking site. But that’s just me.
Okay, I know that sounds bitter, and I am really trying not to be. God, HELP!
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babe, you are going through emotions as we so often do, before entirely understanding what they are or exactly why they are there in the first place if you are truly trying so hard to NOT have them. my my my. sounds like the inner workings of more of Gods beauty to an already beautiful and wise young woman. the turmoils and friustrations are there. why? we dont know. i really want to say something like, “it is to the glory of Gods kingdom” or something like that. but, i cant say that and truly believe it. i don think God works like that. but, i do believe, that because of more circumstances than just this latest with your family, you truly DO know what love is. you truly DO love God. you truly DO love yourself. and hence, you truly TRULY love Andy. have no fears in that. you radiate the meaning or true love. in not just the superficial romantic sappy type way, but the eternal way in which it was orginally meant to be conveyed. and that is why, we can face tomorrow. that is why YOU can face tomorrow. and that is why you can recieve Andy’s love in return. be strong. hold steady. this will be the best ride of your life!